Let your child feel BORED…
I said what I said.
Being bored is less than ideal…right? I’m sure we all agree on this to some extent. But this is exactly WHY we need to let our kids reach the feeling of boredom and the TOP 3 tips for helping your child with this feeling.
What can boredom teach about problem solving, emotional regulation, and other executive functions?
WHY should we let our children feel bored?
Handling anything less than ideal is a life skill requiring us to manage frustration and regulate our emotions. What a great, low-stakes way to provide practice with tolerating frustration and problem solving when one reaches that unwanted state of being.
Let me clarify something important…
Being bored in itself is not what we are looking at here. It is what your child does with the feeling of boredom that counts. Some kids will be ready to handle this feeling without much support. You may get to see their problem solving and tolerance to this frustrating feeling in action!
For a bunch of kiddos, they’ll need some support with this potentially unwanted feeling. What does that look like?
Top 3 Tips for Approaching Boredom
1. Be proactive
At a time when your child is NOT bored & frustrated, talk to them about what they like to spend time on. Build a “menu” with your child of activities to do when they’re feeling bored.
For younger kids this might be visuals (you could even take pictures of them doing these activities) of relatively short activities such as:
building blocks,
playing dress up,
or coloring.
For older kids/teens this might be a list of passion projects.
Maybe they used to love playing the piano and want to get back into it,
maybe they want to get a stronger foul shot for bball ,
or maybe they want to learn something new like how to code.
The point is— have a go-to spot for this planned out ahead of time. A key here is to involve them in that planning so they feel ownership over their choices.
2. Respond to boredom with excitement.
“Oh fun, you have some time to learn that tik tok dance you’ve wanted to!”
“Yes, I finally have a chance to read the rest of that book I’ve been wanting to finish.”
Seeing boredom as a chance to try something new may change their initial negative response to boredom in the future. This comes with time.
3. Be realistic.
Having a go-to “menu” of activities or projects will not keep an 8-year old child entertained all day.
Keep track of how long they can do something independently (it may be different per activity) and celebrate with them when they reach a new “record”. You could praise them for trying something new at the 18 minute mark if the anticipated time they spend on something independently is 20 minutes.
Having conversations about what to do when they feel bored intentionally and repeatedly will help bring their own awareness to how they “tackle” boredom as a challenge instead of something to forever avoid.
